I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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