it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
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I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
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My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I need water and some morals
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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