He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
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I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
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I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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