I bet he comes in French.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
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I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
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HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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