Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching her eat just hurts me
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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