i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
