Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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