There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
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