Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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