CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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