thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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