I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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