Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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