I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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