Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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