No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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