Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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