You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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