If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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