i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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