dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I did not marry a roomba.
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