Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
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He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn off my feet"
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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