I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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