I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
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Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
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Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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