and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
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Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
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The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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