I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize