I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize