Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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