I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize