Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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