Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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