Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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