JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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