my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize