I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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