I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
