Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
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Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
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Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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