I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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