I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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