Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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