Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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