I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize