I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
My feet surprised me
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