at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want nice things and good sex
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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