These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize