If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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