it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize