glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Randomize