Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Randomize