My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
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i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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