Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
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Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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