I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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